Here I would like to share with the readers of this article about a retreat I had for a family of ten – parents and their eight children – in one of the suburbs of Brisbane.

One day while I was in charge of our Retreat House at Brisbane, I had a phone call from a man enquiring a place for a family retreat. As our accommodation was not suitable I replied in negative. A week later the same man spoke to me asking whether I could be in their house for a day to help them to pray together as a family. Our conversation over the phone ended by a request from the other end for a family retreat. I accepted the request without much thought to what it implied.

In a letter after a few days, I was given three weekends to choose from. I was free only one of those weekends and that was agreed upon for the retreat. I asked one experienced priest to help me with some guidance and material for this family retreat. “The family retreat?” he exclaimed with surprise, “Never heard of such a thing” he said, and continued, “Do you know what sort of family it is?” I replied, “Not quite. I only know that they are ten – parents and their eight children.” “You have taken a big risk. You can do either real good to the family or great damage”, he stated indicating I was a bit imprudent in accepting such a retreat to an Australian family.

Since I was a newcomer to Australia, I became quite apprehensive – doubts, questions and some fears as to how this retreat would go. Then I said to myself, “Well, it is the work of the Lord. He will help me in this retreat!” I began to prepare for the retreat with determination and trust in the Lord. I consulted a few social workers and some psychologists who had some experience working with families and children. I gathered enough material to work with.

The family in question was indeed a large one with eight children ranging in age from 7 to 26 years. One was married (and widowed) and another living away from home. Of those at home, one was working and five still at school ranging from Grade 2 to Grade 12, all with varying social and sporting interest and obligations. The weekend for the retreat was chosen three months in advance and the family members arranged to shift work and all other obligations so that they could be totally free for the retreat.

I had not met the family until the weekend of the retreat although brief details of the makeup of the family with a photo were conveyed to me by mail. They had agreed to examine and renew their spiritual life as a family.

The retreat started with the mid-day meal on Saturday, and was planned to end that day’s sessions by 8:30 p.m. But discussions went on up to 10.30 p.m. with full participation of the family. I was ably assisted by the 7 year old who insisted on reading stories to the group! This youngest child came and went as she pleased, but showed surprisingly appreciation and understanding of the discussions.

The main issues of the retreat were:

1. Getting to know and accept each other,

2. Getting to know God, and

3. Inter-personal relationship within the family to live in love.

My approach was completely positive. No personal problems and hurts were discussed in the groups, but everyone availed themselves of the opportunity of private discussions with me on such matters, which ended in a healthy sharing of many delicate matters with confidence, trust, love and respect. We had talks and discussions on such topics as: Prayer as faith experience, the characteristics and signs of a good Christian family, Christ-experience, God-experience and the like. There were a few sessions together, of prayers, mutual appreciation, roll-plays, family games, helping in the kitchen, washing dishes and cleaning the house. I too joined them in these activities.

The retreat concluded with the celebration of the Mass on Sunday evening at 6.30 p.m. Everybody was involved in the planning of the liturgy. All the members of the family invited their close friends to the Mass and we ended up with more than forty adults, not counting the children and at least 8 nationalities from Asia and Europe were present, a real image of the Church. The mass was followed by dinner, which was truly a friendly meal.

All agreed that such a retreat was very much needed in our modern society and that it had improved communications and understanding within the family and had brought them closer together. The experience could best be summed up by the parents’ statements to the guests, “Having all the family together for the whole weekend, discussing our spiritual life together, guided by our retreat master, was like having Christ visit our home for the weekend. We feel there is a great need for such a coming together where family life is undergoing real crisis in our society.”